If a friend, family member, or someone you care for has a mental health illness, like depression, anxiety or bipolar, you might sometimes feel unsure over where to turn - and wonder if what you're doing is even the right thing.

Remember: mental illness is common and it's also treatable. With good understanding and a well-informed, supportive approach, you can play an important role in someone's recovery.

Try to support them by getting professional help in the first instance. This might be through their GP or a qualified medical or mental health practitioner. This can speed up their recovery and help prevent relationships from breaking down. It can also help avoid other negative consequences that relate to the illness, like unemployment and associated financial difficulties - and lessen the possibility of using alcohol to self-medicate. 

AWARE NI's work focuses on suicide prevention. So it's important to take the necessary steps to help people early and to be able to recognise the signs.

Knowing the signs

Identifying the signs and symptoms of mental illness in a friend or a loved one can be very difficult. There are many different types of conditions and spotting the symptoms isn't easy, especially if someone has been feeling the same way for a long time. Here are some common signs and symptoms that people with mental illness may experience:

• Mood changes that are abnormal for them, such as having extended feelings of unhappiness, anger, worry, guilt, anxiousness, restlessness, and agitation.
• Thinking things like as ‘life isn’t worth living’, ‘nothing ever goes right’ or ‘something bad is going to happen’ and ‘I’m useless’. They might also find it hard to concentrate or make decisions.
• Behavioural changes such as avoiding people, crying a lot, changes to their eating, changes in their sleep pattern, being forgetful or confused frequently, recklessness, hurting themselves, or misusing alcohol or drugs.
• Physical symptoms like aches and pains in their body, fatigue and a general lack of energy, weight changes, dizziness, rapid heartbeat and breathing or stomach problems.

Different people will be affected in different ways. But if you notice some of these signs in a friend or family member, try to talk to them about it and listen to how they are feeling. That's a great step in supporting someone with their mental health.

How to talk about it

It can be difficult to start a conversation about mental health, especially when it's someone close to you. It’s okay to feel nervous about approaching the conversation but try to remind yourself why you're doing it and that you want to help them.

Remember that listening is the most important thing you can do to help! Most people aren't asking for specific advice; sometimes they just need someone to talk to, free from any judgement. 

Here are some ways that you can try to start a conversation with someone about their mental health:

• ‘’How are you? Tell me honestly.’’
• ‘’If you ever want to talk about anything, I’m here.’’
• “I've been feeling concerned about you lately.”
• “Recently, I have noticed some differences in you and wondered how you're doing?”
• “That sounds really hard, when did you start feeling like this?”
• “Has something happened to make you feel this way?”
• “How can I support you right now?”
• “I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Have you thought about getting help?”
• “You're not alone, I'm here for you.”

People can feel so vulnerable when talking about their mental health, so keep these phrases in mind to reassure them.

• Tell them you see their struggle and that they shouldn't be be afraid to tell others they're not coping. Connecting with other people can be a relief.
• They are not alone. Even if they think no one will understand how they feel, they don't have to deal with things on their own.
• It’s important to remind them that mental illness is treatable and that it's not their fault. 

With a good understanding and a well-informed, supportive approach, you can play an important part in helping their mental ill health recovery.

How can I help?

• Talk to them and ask how they feel.
• Be a good listener, even if it means hearing the same thing several times.
• Reassure them that depression and anxiety are treatable and it's not their fault.
• Take them seriously! If they talk about feeling hopeless or suicidal, seek professional help straight away. Caring for someone with depression or anxiety can be difficult, stressful and lonely, but help and support is available.

Support available

At AWARE NI, we believe that talking to others who know how you feel is an important step in your journey to recovery.

AWARE NI Support Groups

We have a network of free support groups that are run by our trained volunteers. Support groups welcome people with low mood, depression, anxiety and bipolar, as well as carers of people with the illness. The aim is to bring people together who are suffering and invite them to share their experience and actively discuss coping mechanisms.

Other Support Services

We offer a support email service for people with questions about depression or anyone who would like more information on the illness.

Please email info@aware-ni.org or click here for more information on our support services.

We also have a Support Call service available to access information and support. Please call 028 9035 7820 or 028 7126 0602 during the hours of 9am - 5pm Monday to Thursday and 9am - 2pm on Fridays.

Taking care of yourself, too

It's important to practice self-care when supporting someone else with their mental health. It's normal to experience different emotions and at times feel a little overwhelmed. That's why it's crucial to look after your own mental health. So make sure you take care of yourself, too.

How do I respond in a crisis?

If the person you're supporting is showing signs of suicidal ideation, it's critical they get the help that they need. This news can be extremely worrying, so it's important to stay calm. Encourage them to get professional help straight away. Help and support is available through GP practices, who can advise on the most appropriate treatment for that person.

The following helplines are also available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

• Lifeline: 0808 808 8000
• Samaritans: 116 123
• Emergency Services: 999